Thursday, January 28, 2021

Just One Security Guard

On a warm beautiful night in Los Angeles, I stood in an alley looking at the backstage door of Jimmy Kimmel Live.  On my left was a line of crazed fans waiting to meet my favorite band, Jimmy Eat World, and in front of me was one round security guard. I knew I had to get by him, but how?

Wait, let's back up.

I arrived to Jimmy Kimmel Live with one goal, find out where Jimmy Eat World would be playing a secret show later that night.  Throughout the night I asked every person about the secret show; the stage hands, the band photographer, the production assistants.  Every single person told me the same thing - there was no secret show that night.  But I KNEW there was.  It was happening and no amount of charm convinced them to let me in on the classified info.

My friend Amanda and I watched Jimmy Kimmel Live and when it was done we were filed us out through an alley.  I shuffled my feet slowly - full of disappointment.  Then it hit me.  You know who would tell me about the show?  The band.  I know that meeting the band seems more impossible than finding out about a secret show, but I've never been a person to back down from the impossible.

Because I used to work at The Tonight Show, I knew exactly how the backstage of a late night show worked.  I knew the band was just beyond that backstage entrance and I knew I could get to them.  I was just one security guard away.

I stopped for a moment to decide if I would try to flirt with the security guard to get in, or just act like I was too important to talk to him. A woman from the line of fans distracted the security guard and I knew I had a 3 second window to make this happen.  Without hesitation I commanded Amanda, "Don't stop walking."  I took off with purpose through that backstage entrance like I owned the place.  The security guard yells. "Hey, wait!"  We kept walking and I yelled back with a smile, "It's ok, I'm with the people who are going to be so we can just...."  My total gibberish trailed off as we got far enough away from him that I knew he couldn't catch us. He wouldn't chase us because the backstage door can't be left unattended.  Now, just in case he used the radio to call another security guard, we had to blend in right now.

Trying to slow my heart, I looked around at all the little groups of Hollywood types chatting.  I had to find who ever looked important immediately. There was the bass player chatting with a couple people.  I dragged Amanda over to them and we stood there like we were part of the conversation. A security guard wasn't going to bug us while talking to the band.

After we chatted for a bit, the lead singer came over. (That made us look even more legit.) We have a quick conversation about nothing and before they got bored of us I said, "Hey, where are you playing next?"  The bass player casually said, "Phoenix, AZ."  Then I lowered my voice, got a little closer and said, "No, where are you playing NEXT."  He contemplated his next move.  He looked at me.  He looked at Amanda.  Then he looked over to his left and yelled, "Hey Sam, where are we playing next?"  Sam yelled back "Phoenix." Then he yelled back "No, where are we playing NEXT?"  This clearly grabbed Sam's attention because he instantly left his conversation to join us.  He leaned in to me and whispers "650 Schrader Blvd."

I was speechless. My crazy plan actually worked.

The bass player says, "Will we see you over there?"

"Absolutely."

A security guard was eyeing us, so we said a quick goodbye and we got out of there fast.  We drove over to the small little venue where the huge bouncer wouldn't let us in.  Obviously, our name wasn't on this list.  Now what?

Because I had toured with a rock band in the past, I knew the important people usually hung out in the alley.   Sure enough, behind the venue we found a clump of people.  There was only one guy in a suit.  I walked directly up to Mr. Suit and said, "The guys just told us to come over here, but the bouncer won't let us in. Who can get us in?"  To my surprise, Mr. Suit didn't say anything but instead a scruffy looking dude to my left chimed in. "The band told you to come here?"

"Yah."

"They didn't tell me."

Mind racing... with a smile I said, "Well, we can just wait here until they get here to tell you."

And with that, he said, "Just tell the bouncer that Davis said you could go in."

I slyly reached over and squeezed Amanda's arm. 

After getting passed the bouncer, Amanda and I entered the smallest club ever.  About 30 minutes later, the band took the stage.  Halfway through the show, the bass player saw me and I waved.  He said "You made it!"  He didn't say it into a microphone or yell, he just said it because I was only like 10 feet away from him.  With a shrug and a huge smile I said, "Sure did!"  They played through the album Futures and then played a couple more bonus songs.

It was the best concert experience of my life.

I try to remember this night when my goals aren't so close and immediate. Life goals are further away.  It can feel impossible and I just want to give up.  But the truth is that there is always another option.  Your life experiences and your courage will get you to your goals if you just keep going. 

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