Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Zoom Terror

You may not know that I used to be a singer. I toured the country with a Christian singing group. I used to have a pretty good range. I used to be a good size fish in a tiny little pond, but that was too many years ago to admit. Just like every muscle in your body if you don't use it, you lose it. So recently, I have become a very successful drivers seat singer.

However, in this pandemic I have decided to find ways to grow. Yesterday there was a zoom class offered to work on vocal technique. I turned off my mic. I turned off the camera and away we go. (You guys, zoom classes are so amazing right now because you can be AWFUL and no one will ever know.)

 As the class began, we started doing techniques and the teacher had everyone muted, but was giving correction on what she saw. "Relax your shoulders. Lower your jaw." I thought, "Well, i can do that." So, I turned my camera on. I got a correction and I was so happy to be improving.

 Then, terror.

 She says "Liz Hetzel, let's hear you." You guys. Why she picked me out of all those people, why I had to sing, what made me stand out, I have no idea. But I decided this is my chance to have an amazing vocal teacher teach me. So I went for it. I turned on my mic and after every time I sang, she gave a little lecture to everyone on something I was doing wrong.

We moved up the scale and it got higher and higher. Finally, we were at the point where I knew my voice was going to crack, so when she moved up to the next note I said, "Oh, still me?" and she said "Yah go for it." (Hint not taken.) My voice cracked. My shoulder got tense. My neck was a mess. I was so embarrassed, but I got done and she used my failure to encourage everyone to relax and gave them great advice from my ridiculousness.

She moved up another note. She could see the panic on my face and she says to me "Let's bring it on home." I do the last little bit and I just gave up and sounded horrible. I decided to just get through this because it would be over soon.

 Sure enough, just after that, the class was concluded. I was so relieved the embarrassment was over. The woman hosting the event comes back on and thanks us all for being there. Then the instructor says to the host, "Feel free to post this on YouTube so everyone one can rewatch it."

Oh. No.

Well, now my awful singing will be on YouTube for all the world to see. All my litle mistakes and flaws out there in the cyber universe.

But you know what? I'm not dead. If anything I'm stronger. Maybe seeing someone who doesn't have the best voice sing with courage will inspire someone else who has a better voice. Maybe the corrections she gave after I sang was exactly what someone needed to make that little improvement. Maybe it's all not as bad as I feel like it is.

If there is something you love (maybe you aren't good at it) and have never taken a class, go find it online or on zoom right now. Take advantage of this pandemic and all the free classes. Now's your time! (Maybe just leave your camera and mic off. Hahaha.)