The other day I was resting my head on Colin's shoulder, tucked into the curve in his neck and I was thinking about how Dinsey animators are just amazing. The things they do are surprising and wonderful. I found myself wishing I could do anything half as good as those animators.
I casually whispered, "I wish I was good at something." I unexpectedly began to cry. I honestly wasn't even feeling sad when thought it, but as the words came out of my mouth I realized very suddenly how very sad and confused I am about where I am in life right now.
I'm still writing but I'm sure it can't be published. (Side note: Can some one get sued for writing about behind the scenes Disney? Asking for a friend.) My editing skills haven't kept up with the current level of amazing editors. My dancing is... well, most of my dancing was been temporarily removed with my disc fragments.
So, what do you do when you are a girl with a whole lot of half talents?
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what they call the desert. I'm not in agony. I'm not in hell. I'm just in a dry, flat part of life. I'm not really sure if there is any water around and I'm getting pretty tired.
I really wanted to end this blog post there. In the reality of life, but the other talent I have is optimism. It refuses to give up on me. So I guess if I was to say one last thing, it's that I still have a bottle of water with me. I believe I have a purpose. I believe in a higher power. I believe that there is a reason I walk this earth. And there is even a reason I'm in this desert.
So, I will keep walking. Looking for the next turn that will bring me to my next adventure.
(NOTE: This was written a few weeks ago and life has seemed to turn a corner. But reading back on this I realize a lot of people probably feel like they are in this place. Just don't stop walking because the only way to get some place new is to keep going.)