The Same Kind of Lonely

Today I was rollerblading in Newport Beach.  Like usual, my headphones were on, blaring my song of  the day.  I'm pushing myself along at a quick pace when I slowed down because there was a couple rollerskating very slowly in front of me.  The girl was very unsure of herself, holding a tight grip on her boyfriend's arm.  Then, they stopped and were standing in my way - fighting.

The girl obviously wanted to stop and go back.  The guy was obviously trying to convince her to go on.  She shook her head and the guy threw his hands in the air and went on without her.  He left her standing there, alone and unable to move without assistance.

I pulled out my headphones, and started to offer her my arm just in time for her to start to fall and grab on.  We both laughed.  "Thank you" she said with an embarrassed smile.

"No problem, let's get you facing the right way."  We got her steady and facing the direction that her boyfriend went and we started on our way.  Her steps were tiny and slow and we laughed and she told me how she hadn't been on skates in years.  I told her that she was doing a great job and we would have her skating in no time.  Discouraged, she says "That's not what he thinks."

"Well, he's wrong."  She gave me an insecure smile.

As we skated along, keeping her on her feet, I realized that whether you are single or have an awful boyfriend, it's the same kind of lonely.  You have to figure it out yourself (or find a kind stranger to help you).  I don't know their relationship.  I don't know why she stays with him, but I know the kind of relationship I want to be in.  I would rather be alone and lonely, then with someone and lonely.