In 2005, after years of successfully dancing at Disneyland, I was unexpectedly not cast in any of the upcoming parades. So I begged for a job. Any job. Disney came back and said that they could use me as a lead for a small cavalcade. A lead is a person who walks along the parade. They make sure the music runs correctly, the guests stay out of the street and ensures the performers are safe. I wasn't going to be picky, I was just so thankful for any job.
It was torture.
As I took my small steps down Main Street USA, pacing the parade, I would look up and watch the girls twirling in their skirts, jumping into the arms of their dance partners, and doing what they loved. My ugly khakis and blue polo shirt made me look plump. The large bulky headset I wore had an antenna on both sides of my head making me look like some kind of bizarre insect. The headset was connected to a controller that hung on my belt making my pants sag a bit adding to the awkward.
But everyday I showed up and walked down that route, watching my dreams from the sidelines.
One day, the choreographer was doing a rehearsal backstage. I was in charge of the DVD player. As the dancers rehearsed, they were struggling because a person was missing. The choreographer looked over and said, "Liz, jump in." I looked at him and said "Oh, I'm not in this parade." He looked back at me and said, "Don't make me call you Karen." (My first name is Karen and like a loving family, it's not good when they use your whole name.)
He knew the dancer I was. He knew that I could learn anything from watching. He knew I had watched the routine a million times from the sidelines. So, I took my headphones from my head and put them around my neck and jumped in. As I danced along, the headset controller on my belt kept knocking around. So, mid dance, I ripped off the headset and controller, and launched them to the side. I was so light, so free. I danced with my whole soul. This is what I was made for.
I image that you are thinking that I was then cast in that cavalcade. I wasn't.
I just walked next to that cavalcade for months, trying to get into the parades that were in the rehearsal process, but I got no where.
That rehearsal taught me that I would never be satisfied walking alongside my dreams, so one day I auditioned for a role I had always dreamt of doing. At the beginning of the audition they announced that women who are currently cast in the upcoming parade would not be allowed to audition. A large pack of disappointed women streamed out of the room. (I couldn't believe how thankful I was for that stupid cavalcade.) I auditioned for the role of a lifetime. I got it. I'm still doing it today.*
There are times in your life when you just have to sit on the sidelines and put in the work. It's not always perfect. You aren't always doing what you're made for, but there is something coming. If you keep trying, if you keeping being willing to be rejected, if you keep putting in the work, you will end up in the perfect place.
*Cue me crying every time I read that because I can't believe how lucky I am.
No comments:
Post a Comment