The Secret Life of Liz Hetzel

Episode 1:  The great Easter Adventure

If you want to know what my life is like...  Here ya go.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YeNjZn_Rpmg

I am new...

Easter is always amazing.  This year was no different.

http://vimeo.com/40278323

Get lost. It will keep you sane.

I like getting lost the first time I go on a  hike somewhere new.  I mean, I do have GPS after all - just in case I really get lost.


So today, after following a riverbed off the path and down the mountains I found myself at a dead end in the cool shadows of the valley.  I had three options:
1) turn around
2) pull out the GPS
3) climb the tree in front of me and then climb the cliff above that.


At the very top of the cliff was grass sparkling in the sun.  The sun was teasing me.  It knew I couldn't resist.  So, I grabbed the tree and began to climb.  Trees are easy to climb.  Stay near the trunk and it's just like climbing an uneven ladder.  Well, that is until the it starts to sway.  That's when I transferred to the cliff.


I started climbing again.  It was a little shaky.  There were times when a rock would suddenly give out from underneath my foot or my handhold would crack under the pressure, but I knew from climbing experience that as long as one connection to the mountain was secure, everything else is fine.


After a short wrestle with that cliff, I made it to the top. And what did I find?  Heaven.

Lush green fields.

Meadows blowing in the wind.

I came around a bend and found myself in a storybook.

No one walked this way.  There was no path.  There were no other people.  Just me and God's beautiful artwork.


I walked for a while and then was stopped by Man.  A chain link fence.  I knew that I was heading in the right directions to end up back where I needed to be, but this chain link fence was not going to let me get there.   Because the woods on the other side of this chain link fence were so dense, I decide to continue along the fence until there was an opening at some point where people had already made a path.

I finally came along a very small tunnel under the fence.  I laid down and slithered my way under.  It wasn't until I was about 3/4 the way through that I thought, "I'm very small, who else could possibly fit through here."  Just a moment later, when I was through, I noticed that the path was not made for walking but crawling.. or rather, walking on all fours.  And there were no footprints just coyote tracks.  I needed to get out of there fast.  If a hungry coyote came walking down his path, I was for sure getting rabies.  I very quickly slithered back under the fence.

Once back on the other side I sighed with relief and continued to follow the fence.  Not too far down the hill I was stopped again.  This time, by a fence that was perfectly perpendicular to the first fence.  Time to get my fence jumping shoes on.

A tree stood in my way.  It was just close enough to the fence to be in the way and just far enough away that it didn't help.  So after climbing this horribly wobbly fence, while arm wrestling the tree, I swung my legs over.   Everyone knows that if you climb a fence once you are at the top you are home free because you just swing your legs over and drop down to the ground.  However, this ground had very high grass and I had no idea what lied underneath.  So I very gently lowered myself down to the ground to find very unstable and slippery terrain.

I could now see the path I wanted about 100 yards down this very steep hill.  Because of the looseness of the earth and the very steep slant of the hill,  I semi-skied down, using my arms as ski poles when gravity pulled at both of my feet at the same time.

I was never so happy to hit stable ground.  I walked about 50 yards before I realized, my car key had fallen out of my pocket at some point....  crap.  After talking with Best Friend Jen for a moment, I decided to head back and look for it.  One key, lost in the midst of this whole adventure.

I headed back up the slippery terrain.  For every step I took, I slid back a half a step.  I was on nature's treadmill, except I needed to make progress on this treadmill.  

After quite a hike, I got back to my wobbly fence, I stopped and looked around.  No key.  I was already thoroughly exhausted and I knew that if I climbed this fence I would have to do it at least once more.  I got up my strength and got over that fence.  I stopped at the tree I arm wrestled.  He didn't have my key either.

I headed back to the coyote path.  My discouragement quickly faded when I saw a glimmer of something silver in the dirt.  Sure enough, while slithering under, my key had fallen out of my pocket.  I swear to God, finding this key was a miracle from God.

The key is the silver sliver next to the cement block.

I still had quite a walk ahead of me to get back to my car, but not before climbing my wobbly fence one more time - but of course by this time we were friends.  So, I had to stop at the top and take a pictures of us.  Of course the arm wrestling tree jumped in the background...

I ended the hike throughly exhausted.  I probably hiked three times as far as I had originally planned.  I, for sure, had no intention of climbing a tree, a cliff and a fence, and by the end my legs were literally shaking.  But like most things in my life I wouldn't change it for the world.

I got to be an adventurer. I got to be in a little piece of heaven. I got to be a character in my own storybook.

First rate single life, indeed.

Just grab the front of your board and go.

For those of you who have just met me in the last ten years, you may not know that I used to be a professional rollerblader.*

My dream job.  Half of my days were spent in a half pipe suspended by bungee chords so I could fling myself into the air and do crazy tricks with no fear of getting hurt.  The other half of the days I was on the ground skating up and down small 3 foot ramps.

Here's the catch:  all of this happened on a moving float.  Yep, moving.

So, at our first rehearsal they asked us to skate down the back of the float.  Here’s the thing, it was just a classic drop in but when you got down to the bottom of the ramp, it dropped a foot to get to the ground and the ground felt like it was moving because the float was moving.  This was nothing anyone had ever done before.


The other rollerblader was a girl who claimed to have just won the female division of the national championships in rollerblading.  We both stood on the ramp on the back of the float and the choreographer causally says “ok, let’s see how this works.”  Um… you want me to skate off this... right now?


Well, a couple months earlier I had worked at a summer camp in the Santa Cruz mountains where I spent my afternoons at a skate park that was surrounded by redwood trees.  I was helping kids drop in and keep their momentum going. I did the easy stuff.  I left the tough stuff to Peter Culp, the coolest, most patient surfer kid I had ever met.  I saw kids over and over again get hippers and Peter Culp would say, “grab the front of your board”.  (Kids would always fall backwards while trying to drop in and hit their hip on the pipe after not committing enough.)  If only they would grab the front of their board they would have been fully committed and do fantastically.

So, with Peter Culp ringing in my head, I thought “Just grab the front of your skates and go.”  I didn’t even think about it,  i just leaned forward and committed.


A huge cheer rang up from the people around me.  Success.  I turned around and there was the national champion still standing at the top of the ramp.  Too scared to move.

I sometimes think back to that and laugh at myself.  Who does that?  What kind of person skates off a ramp that a national champion is scared of?

I do.


You know some people say I'm courageous, I don't think so.  I think to be courageous you have to have fear.  I think I just don't know to be scared sometimes.  Then again, maybe I'm just lucky.  Maybe I'm just lucky to have people like Peter Culp in my life who teach me how to skate, while accidentally teaching me how to live.

Find something you want to do, fully commit to it and give it everything you've got.  You will normally succeed and if you don't, you will fall on your ass and look like a fool, but at least you aren't a national champion still standing on the top of a ramp too scared to move.


* A person who gets paid to Rollerblade.  (I got paid to Rollerblade at Disneyland.)

Stop smiling... it leads to trouble.

I smile a lot.

A couple months back I was at the hollywood bowl by myself.  I was smiling, as usual, while walking up to the ticket takers.  Well, this guy sorta stands in front of me and says hi.  Here's how it went from there:

Liz (just being nice): Hi.
Guy:  I'm excited for this.
I'm a little confused why this stranger is telling me he's excited about the Hollywood Bowl show, but sure, why not.
Liz: Me too.
Guy: Have you ever seen them before?
Liz: It's a french night... Is there a way to have seen it before?
Guy: I guess not.
Small pause.
Guy: Should we go in.
Liz: With me?
Guy looks confused.
Guy: I'm Tom.
I'm confused.
Liz:  I'm Liz.
Horribly horrified look crosses his face.
Tom: What?
I just stand there totally lost.
Tom:  I'm looking for Jackie.
Liz:  I'm not Jackie.
Tom:  Why were you smiling at me as you walked up?
He was actually a little angry (probably just embarrassed).
Liz: I was just smiling.

Moral of the story... If you are alone, don't smile because people who are supposed to be meeting their match from match.com will think you are their match... awkward.

I should change my name to Jack

I find it interesting that God has bless me with a whole bunch of mediocre gifts.

I often wonder if it is better to be a jack of all trades or the master of one. I think you get rich and famous from being the master of one... But I've never wanted to be rich or famous so I guess the way I am is perfect.

I just left a dance concert with a couple pieces that really inspired me to make a dance. Immediately. I've made some good stuff, but my absolute best stuff has always been something I collaborated on. What a better way to stay humble then knowing that you can only be great when you surround yourself with greatness.

And that is why you are my friend. Because I know you will make me a better person. You will help me make great things. And hopefully I will be able to do the same for you.

Now while I'm still inspired I'm gonna go write a movie or make up a dance or edit a video or do a math puzzle (cuz I'm kinda good at math too).

My unpredictable life.

Three things I never dreamt I would think when I was just a kid on a farm.

1. "Green flashes in the sky either mean the Lord is returning or it's the end of Fantasmic."

2.  "I may need to go home a different way because of fireworks traffic by my house."

3.  "I fly through fireworks... for a living."